One day after my 25th birthday, I found myself lingering at the kitchen table sipping a cup of black coffee and taking stock of my life. At a quarter of a century, I am essentially unemployed and still living in my parents’ house in a bedroom that hasn’t changed much since I was 14. Ironically, I could not be more excited by my current position.
Now I understand it’s not an ideal or glamorous scenario. Trust me I am craving my own place, but by the tremendous generosity of my parents I am living at home rent-free while I map the landscape of my new career. Let’s rewind and fill in the gaps on how I found myself here.
A year and a half ago I gained employment working at a company within my field, which as a drama major renders quite the sense of accomplishment. I got along with my coworkers and was generally happy with my position. After six months I accepted a promotion for a full-time position with the company, ecstatic that I was working full time within the arts. However, despite my greatest balancing acts and attempts to devote time to developing my own career aspirations as an actor/model, I lost focus of my dream.
I found myself settling. At the young age of 25, I allowed myself to get comfortable and knew if I continued coasting along, making countless excuses for myself and my ambitions, I might never see my dreams come to fruition; a truly devastating thought. I felt like a fraud, teaching and encouraging my acting students to chase their dreams while I did the opposite. I inadvertently allowed every voice throughout my life that told me I would never become an actor ring victorious because of my own complacency and fear. The time I spent daydreaming as a child of the stories I would tell the world through my acting would prove to be in vain. I felt an overwhelming need to reclaim my life and reset my course in life to ensure I give my best effort to making my dreams a reality. I refuse to find myself in the crippling position of regret many feel later in life as they realized they neglected their dreams.
Thus, I resigned from my full-time position without having anything concrete lined up to support me.
Just to clarify, this career change decision did not happen overnight. My passion for performing first developed when I was 4 years old and I’ve been chasing that dream ever since. The idea to leave my job and finally focus entirely on performing sparked a couple of months prior to the actual execution, and from that moment I began strengthening the foundation for launching my dream career. Luckily I have many financial factors working in my favor which helped with the decision process: I live at home, I don’t have any student loans to pay off, I’m not married and I don’t have any children. My parents taught me to practice frugality and stick to a budget to help manage my small, monthly expenses such as car maintenance and a cell phone bill. From those insights, it was full steam ahead as I made as many preparations as one can possibly make when breaking into the entertainment business: I invested in new headshots. I recorded a new voice-over demo. I started taking networking seriously. I revised my resume. I consulted my mentors. I researched agencies, casting calls, production companies, auditions and the best cities to live in for film and theatre. I made a demo reel. I applied to freelance proofreading and copywriting jobs to help keep me solvent. I made spreadsheets of theatres and their upcoming audition dates and wrote dozens of cover letters for agencies. Miraculously, one day before my last day of steady income, an agency responded and told me they would represent me.
What a whirlwind! Of course, acquiring representation doesn’t offer a tremendous amount of job security, but it offers a starting point. I was bursting at the seams with excitement, basking in the first ray of success by having the courage to give myself a real shot at my dream. Naturally I experienced a myriad of other emotions as well, not all of them positive which I will elaborate on in a separate post, but for the purposes of this first post, let me focus on the initial and the strongest emotions felt when taking charge of your life. I felt total empowerment and a rush of adrenaline as I let my heart take control and act as my guiding force. I allowed my imagination to run rampant, feeling for once the hopes and dreams in my mind were not as unattainable as I previously thought. I grew determined and confident, ready to take the world by storm, hungry to create and share my art with other creative individuals embarking on the same mission. I felt ready.
I’m taking a risk. Correction, a huge risk. For an organized, meticulous planner like myself this is a BIG deal. Although big risks often yield big rewards, the chance for big losses becomes just as probable. Too often we ignore encouragement by teachers, leaders, mentors and society to take a leap and discover what one is truly capable of accomplishing. Instead we opt to play it safe. Follow the safe path, wait for the right time, gather more savings and simply make excuses for ourselves while we “wait” for the right opportunity. But I am tired of playing it safe. Despite any fears and doubts I may have, I am ready to take the risk.
I contemplated the big crossroad in front of me for a considerable amount of time before, like Robert Frost, ultimately choosing the road less traveled to give myself this chance. I am making the choice to advocate for myself and ask the world for what I want. I may get it and I may not. No matter the outcome, I have already succeeded because I chose to try. I owe myself this chance, as I believe everyone does. I will never find a perfect time to pursue my aspirations, and that realization propels me to try now.
Despite any moment of doubt or criticism, of congratulations or applause, whether from others or myself, I believe we can all agree that my choice will lead to a great adventure. And at the end of the day isn’t that what everyone wants?
So, here’s to a quarter century & here’s to adventure!